Why Microsoft shouldn’t make cars
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments/General Motors issued a press release stating the following: “If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would accept this, restart, and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart;
in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought ‘Car95′ or ‘CarNT.’ Then you would have to buy
more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that’s powered by the sun, more reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water, temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single ‘general car fault’ warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same butt size.
9. The airbag system would say ‘Are you sure?’ before going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps, even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50 per cent or more.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You’d press the ‘Start’ button to shut off the engine.
I use Ubuntu and they should make cars this way too! A different raison d’etre can make a world of difference! Its all in your basic philosophy I guess.
I lol’ed.
I don’t get it. Why are jokes supposed to be funnier if they are supposedly true?
Citation? What are your sources?
You also forgot to mention the miriade of annoying sounds, any time you try to do anything with your car.
You would also have to update your wheels every 3 weeks, or risk crashing even more.
The standard GM lock would be by-passable by a 5 year old.
Number 8 my fave!
and the linux diy car?
This is hilarious! Haha…
My favorite is: 13. You’d press the ‘Start’ button to shut off the engine.
That’s always bugged me….
1996 called, they want their hilarious internet meme about why Windows sucks back.
I love these things! especially the mac part. so true!
STUMBLED!
Number 1 would be my fav., but the entire list is sad but true.
VOTED for this list at:
http://www.newsdots.com/cool/why-microsoft-shouldnrsquot-make-cars/
Funny, but the joke is getting pretty old now…
very few cars crash every few minutes